Tuesday, 9 April 2013

"As we get older, the lesser friends we have."

Well, not literally of course.

I know I've been neglecting this blog. Life is getting busier and tougher. More challenges, more responsibilities. Somehow, I will never lose interest in writing. Let's start.        

From what I see, we have little time for each other. Like myself, everyone has their own plans, their own responsibilities. It's only normal to be facing this at some point of your life. Your friends get married, migrate to overseas, busy upgrading themselves, etc. Situation changes, people change. Maybe I changed too and my friends find it difficult to approach a different me. So, I admit. I've changed and I'm staying this way while upgrading myself slowly.          

One thing about me. I used to be so afraid of losing people in my life.

Not anymore.              

I realized, I don't have to care about people who don't matter in my life. I don't need to care for those who don't want to be in my life. At the same time, I choose who I want to be in my life too. Not just anybody. Of course, anyone can be an acquaintance. I know it might sound egoistic or arrogant. But don't get me wrong. That's not how I see it. To me, it's called prioritizing.

Sometimes we care too much about the people we barely know and neglect the close and important ones in our lives. Shouldn't it be the other way? Another thing, why prioritize someone when you're just a choice/an option? I've been used way too many times and I won't let it happen anymore. Friends that I've given so much trust in, that I've never thought would step on my head, ...many of them.

I used to cry and complain, "What did I do to deserve that? To get my head stepped on?" Some would tell me to stop being too nice, while some would tell me to not be soft-hearted. I don't think it's just that though. I don't like to doubt my friends and therefore, I give myself a chance (in fact, many chances depending on how close we are) to prove that they are not like what I think. I hold on to the ones I love, close to my heart (besides family) because friends are like treasures and are very important. Not only may they influence your decisions, they also shape you in one way or another. That is why it is important to CHOOSE your friends. And that's what I'm doing now.

If you're going to enter my life and treating me like a piece of trash, then I will make sure you will be in my trash bin. (Do I sound fierce? LOL. I guess I'm THAT angry now. But I will get better after blogging.) If you're a true friend, you will know me well enough not to doubt my sincerity in the love of friendship and will not misuse the trust I've given. But truthfully, I'm THANKFUL to have met the people who have stepped on my head. To take it positively, at least I will be able to differentiate who I should keep and who I should eliminate.

If you're too dear to me, I will be able to forgive you. But I doubt the friendship will be as close. I will get over this. I know I'm stronger than this. To those who are sincere and have been there for me through thick and thin, THANK YOU. I'm very sure you will be rewarded someday with something as beautiful as your heart of GOLD. God willing. :)