A few days ago, my mum and I listened to "The O Show" by Fiza O on Ria 89.7FM. (We're a fan of her. Hehe.) As usual, the topics/issues being raised are always "hot". On that particular day, there was a female caller asking Fiza O and other listeners for help. She told her story:
Her boyfriend told her that he needs space. (For whatever reason, I can't recall) But, yeah she did gave him the "space" that he wanted. For 3 whole pathetic months, she waited for him. She tried calling, texting, etc. He ignored her phone calls & text messages. So, she asked for some advice from Fiza O & listeners on what she should do because she's confused and didn't know what to do.
Poor girl. I feel her.
Based on my personal experience, "space" means breaking up. Of course I was like her before, waited like an idiot. Lol. Excuse my language. I honestly felt like talking to the girl personally and advice her on what she should do. But too bad, I don't even know who she is.
So, Fiza O helped her by asking the listeners for advice on what the girl should do. Some female callers told her to move on. Suddenly, Fiza O received a call from a male species. Here's what his advice was:
He said that as a guy and from a guy's point of view, "space" actually means breaking up. I was like "I knew it..". Experience plays a part huh? Heh. He added, "We tell the girl that we want "space" instead of telling her that we want to break up is because we are afraid that we might hurt the girl's feelings. It's because we are concern over her feelings, that is why we choose to tell the girl that we need "space" instead of telling her directly."
I was LITERALLY LAUGHING OUT LOUD when he said all those words. Are you serious?? LOL!
Fiza O darling asked him back, "So by telling the girl that you need "space" instead of telling her directly that you want to break up is being concern, you say?"
He fought back, "Yes because we don't want to hurt their feelings. We are concern, yes. We are afraid that we might hurt their feelings."
Fiza O asked him again, "So the main point is, you are AFRAID?" He got angry and raised his voice saying this and that, reasons, whatever. Fiza O asked him for the final time, "Yes, but the main point is YOU ARE AFRAID, yes?"
Guess what? He AGREED and laughed. -.- Then, Fiza O cut the line off to end the conversation perhaps to not let it turn into a nasty argument.
Now it's my turn.
At which part of "I need space" and keeping silent, ignoring the girl means you are concern to not hurt her feelings? At which freakin' point? For guys out there, if you have the same opinion as the guy above, let me tell you this. It is 110% better if you just tell the girl straight to her face that you want to break up with her instead of going around the bush and making her wait like a fool.
If you ever thought that there are ways of not getting the girl hurt, then you are obviously wrong. How can a silent treatment be not hurtful if one day she finds out that you are no longer interested after waiting for you? Be a gentleman. Tell her straight that you no longer want to continue the relationship. Yes, she will get hurt. But trust me, based on my experience, telling the girl straight to her face that you want to end it is way less hurtful than waiting for months and knowing that you waited for nothing.
If you are concern and you know that both of you are not suitable for each other, let her go. Tell her, so she knows. By doing so, you are hurting her of course. BUT in a way, you are giving her a chance. A chance to move on and find someone else. To be with someone who's meant to be with her in the future. Not wasting her time. Again, be a gentleman. It's hard to tell her straight to her face and seeing her cry and all. But, isn't it better than being a coward?
Fiza O mentioned this, "Love is no assignment for cowards." If you dare to fall in love, then, dare to face the challenges. Because love means facing your biggest fears. I ever blogged about love and relationships in the past. Similar to this post. It might sound like I'm an anti. It's like I hate men. After reading my post, some of my guy friends "attacked" me. Heh. Maybe after this post, some guys would "attack" me again.
C'mon guys. If you are not like these crappy guys, why terasa (feel guilty)? If you feel so, that just means that you've done that to someone before, right? Heh. Not all guys are like that of course, I know that. :) And that does not mean that ladies are perfect. Some have gone haywire. I know.
I know. :)
